A Guest
by Bazylia de Grean
Summary: Torment series, nr 5. Another plan of Masters Ilya and Keey. It's little. It's moving fast. It makes you say "Awww..." And it may prove too much for poor count Dooku, who has lots of things on his mind... and a most unexpected thing in his teacup.


_Disclaimer_: I don't own Dooku or Asajj, nor the SW universe. But I do own Ilya and Keey.

[Contains references to _Scheming_.]

* * *

**A Guest**

Keey Spani was bored, and desperately so. Last time, when they had sent Dooku _the_ Game – and it was not like she even got to play herself! – Ilya had mentioned she had a plan. But since there, the had been no signs whatsoever of it, and Keey had enough waiting. She would think up something on her own, if Il' really wanted…

Something flashed past her, making her jump in her armchair. _What the hell?_ There was a brief silence, and then weird crunching noises, becoming louder as Keey slowly approached the kitchen. She tiptoed towards the half-opened cupboard, from which the noises were coming, opened the door suddenly, with a flash-quick move of her hand… and froze. And then, regarding the little being inside, Keey made just one sound.

"Awwww…"

There were quiet steps at the door as Ilya appeared in the kitchen. She looked at Keey, watched her face closely, and then, obviously pleased with the results, she announced, "And this, my dear, is the next stage of our plan."

Keey blinked. "_This_? You _can't_ be serious…"

Ilya shook her head. "I am."

"I'm not going to give it to anyone!" Keey stood almost in a fighting stance, keeping the cupboard's door closed in a protective manner.

"Some sacrifices must be made," said Ilya sternly, then brightened up. "Don't worry," she added, in a lighter tone, "I'm just going to take this little one for a short trip."

Keey's eyes narrowed. "Fine, then. But on one condition."

"Yes?"

Keey smiled, although in a somewhat frightening manner. "_We_ are going together."

Ilya chuckled. "Poor man…"

Spani grinned mercilessly, evidently having fun. "And that's how I like him."

…

Asajj Ventress peered inside Dooku's study, carefully holding the cup, using the Force instead of her hands. Cups full of hot tea had a most irritating tendency to scald, and she did not like that at all.

"My lord?"

Dooku averted his gaze from the screen and looked at her. "Yes?"

"Your tea, my lord." Not even entering, Asajj levitated the tea towards the count's desk.

"Thank you." He caught the cup in his own Force grasp and lowered it onto the desk, carefully maneuvering amongst the papers. "You may go now."

"Yes, my lord," Asajj nodded respectfully and retreated.

On the other end of the corridor, it dawned on her she forgot to add sugar. Again. _Damn_. The life of a Sith's apprentice was hard.

She looked back, ready to return and offer to bright the sugar, but noticed the tall silhouette of the count already striding towards the kitchen suite. So she was too late, again.

What worried Asajj the most was that count Dooku once again did not say a thing about her poor tea-making service, something which would normally result in one or two little pointy remarks, told in his infuriating ever-polite tone. And she had a very bad feeling about that.

…

Dooku retuned with the sugar after over ten minutes, taking his time. Maybe he needed more walks, or a few days off. He was tired, verging on exhaustion. He placed the sugar-bowl on the desk… and froze, standing completely still. Someone was in the room.

The count concentrated, searching the room through the Force. Not someone, something. Which did not matter much, in fact.

Dooku made a mental note to fire all the security guards, then turned slowly, scanning the room with his sight. The was nothing. Nothing in the view, no noise… A flash of movement, just behind him, and he spun round towards the desk again… And stopped in mid-motion, eyes wide, eyebrows arched, and mouth slightly opened in a soundless gasp of surprise.

There, on _his_ desk, amid papers, few datapads and holocrons, a squirrel was sitting. A _squirrel_. And its fluffy brush was resting peacefully right in his cup, soaking in his tea.

Dooku was speechless at first, but then a terrible outburst of rage overtook him.

"_You!_" he yelled, pointing a finger at the creature.

The squirrel raised up its little hand, shiny eyes looking at Dooku fretfully, though curiously. Then it hopped away from the cup, its wet brush trailing after it, leaving spots of tea on the papers. The squirrel looked around, searching for some way of exit or escape, but there was none. Once again it turned its attention to the count and squeaked a bit, tiny ears moving and eyes blinking.

Dooku's rage left him that instant. After all, that was just a charmless little animal…

The squirrel sensed the change of the atmosphere, and after a few incredibly fast jumps was climbing up the count's arm.

Dooku reached towards the creature, and, using Force speed, firmly but gently caught it in his palm. He held the animal is his hand, not really knowing what to do next.

The squirrel wriggled a little in the count's hold, then calmed down, nestled itself in its captor hand as comfortably as it could, and squeaked, making the sound as adorable as it only could.

That proved too much even for Dooku. He stroke the squirrel's tiny head, causing some squeaks, and very obviously contented ones.

There was only one thing the count could say just then, although it was told in a somehow sneaky way, because things like that did not befit a Sith lord. But still…

"Aww…"

There was a loud laughter from somewhere behind the desk. Dooku froze. And then he blinked in astonishment as two female Jedi crawled up from beneath his desk and stood up, still laughing.

The count wiped his eyes with his free hand. "No… Force, not you…"

Keey Spani smiled sweetly. "Nice to see you too, oh, lord of misrule."

Dooku moaned.

Ilya Bassel approached him, casually, took the squirrel from his unresisting hand and then patted his shoulder reassuringly. "Don't worry, we'll be leaving soon…"

"Define 'soon'," ordered Dooku, although in a voice slightly weaker than usually.

Keey grinned. "Come on, just admit you've been missing us."

"Force, _no!_"

Keey faked disappointment. "Pity. 'cause we've been… missing… you."

"_No!_" Dooku hid his face in his hands, hoping maybe they would be gone when he would open his eyes again.

Keey took him by the arm. "We're going to have so much fun," she announced happily.

When Dooku lowered his hands, his face was grave. "Maybe _you_ are."

The most Jedi part of Ilya finally took pity on the count. She extended her hand, offering the squirrel. "Would holding Scrat lift your spirits a bit?"

"Force, what is that? What do you want from me?" Dooku yielded.

"Oh, giving up so quickly?" now Keey was disappointed truly.

"I don't give up, I merely ask you what the hell do you want!"

"Oh."

Corner of Ilya's lips raised in a half-smile. "You come back to the Order, we cease teasing you… well, at least for a time being," explained Ilya. "For a long time. You don't… guess what happens then."

Dooku's gaze was accusing. "That's blackmail."

Keey gave him one of her famous glances. "And you thought blackmail is reserved for Siths only? Your mistake."

"Yes, I can see that…" muttered Dooku sourly.

"So?" asked Ilya, taking the count by his other arm.

Dooku did not even make a move to free himself; there was no point in vain attempts. They would get him anyway, sooner or later. Some thing were inevitable.

He sighed. "This is blackmail…"

Keey beamed up at him. "I don't think Master Yoda would say a word of critique when we get you back." Suddenly an idea came to her mind. "And you know? Il' does still have _that_ nightgown…"

"What?!" exclaimed Ilya, "What does my nightgown has to do with that?"

Dooku did not smile, but at least did not look grave any longer. "That," he muttered, "is yet to be seen."

"There's nothing for you to see! Except for maybe the inside of my hand, coming very fast towards your face next time you mention it! And for you, Keey, there would be some serious tickling, mind my words."

Dooku smiled. "Ilya, my dear, but you _do_ like my teasing…"

"Dooku, I warn you…"

Keey sighed happily. "Just like in the old times… Hey, maybe you would like to explain this matters in some more privacy?"

"Keey!" cried Ilya and Dooku in unison.

"What? I was just asking!"

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_Author's note:_ I had such fun writing this... hope you like it ;) And our little redhead hopes that, too.

5th part, I've never dreamed of coming that far with this series... But exams' time can do this to people ;) Sorry for any mistakes I overlooked.


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